Expert Advice from Divorce Attorneys On the Front Lines
It takes guts to leave a bullying, self-centered, narcissistic spouse. Divorcing a narcissist can be challenging and emotionally draining as they often have a grandiose sense of self-importance, lack empathy, and are prone to manipulation and controlling behaviors.
Divorce attorneys Carla Calabrese and Lee Budner of the family law firm Calabrese Budner offer some things to consider when divorcing a narcissist:
Document everything: It's important to keep records of everything related to your divorce. Whether you’re dealing with a spouse officially diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder or just someone who exhibits narcissistic traits, they may attempt to distort and manipulate facts to their own benefit, so having clear documentation can help protect you and ensure that the truth prevails over fiction.
Work with a skilled attorney: You will need a lot of support, starting with the right divorce attorney. You need counsel that excels in the courtroom, can navigate complex facts, and has the ability to remain calm under pressure. You need a lawyer who is assertive and can advocate for you in the face of intense conflict.
Work with your attorney to set clear boundaries: It's crucial to set clear boundaries and stick to them. Don't engage in arguments or let them manipulate you into doing something that is not in your best interests. For a narcissist, outbursts or excessive demands are just attention seeking behavior. They want to play in the mud. And they like dragging you into the mud with them.
Take care of yourself: It's essential to take care of yourself by eating well, getting enough sleep, exercising, and seeking support from friends and family or a therapist.
Be prepared for a lengthy legal battle: Narcissists often refuse to compromise or give in, and divorce proceedings can drag on for a long time. In their personal lives, narcissists often resort to intimidation tactics and taking extreme, aggressive positions. Unfortunately, the divorce process tends to only makes this worse. Narcissists often use the courtroom as an outlet for their impulses—attempting to use the legal process to validate their desire for special treatment and act out their distorted views. That is why a lot of narcissists are involved in high-conflict divorces.
Experienced family law attorneys Carla Calabrese and Lee Budner lead a legal team that is uniquely qualified to manage the process of divorcing a narcissist. As the originator of the Emotionally Intelligent Divorce®, Carla ensures that her team is prepared to advocate relentlessly for clients while retaining a calm demeanor and a keen awareness of the emotional issues at play.
Lee Budner developed his extensive litigation skills handling high-stakes commercial conflicts. He knows how to deal with stubborn yet sophisticated attempts to hide the truth. With his years of experience using discovery tools to locate and leverage information to his clients’ advantage, he ensures that clients’ interests are protected no matter what strategy a narcissist tries to employ.
You deserve to have Calabrese Budner on your side.
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